Men 101: The villains and the Hero ( Continuation part 2)

                     Men 101: the villains and the hero part2

You think  our first MR. is horrible? Think again! Introducing our second MR. Wrong: MR. Control freak. This man is your worst nightmare and most dreadful fear all wrapped in one. He would not only try to run your life but ruin it while he’s at it. He has his rigid and established way of reasoning and the chances of him ever deviating from his thinking lines are as slim as a Nigerian being born with blue eyes. He’s so close minded to the opinions and viewpoints of others and awake to his that he appears almost like a robot. You might have seen examples of men like this in movies. If you were into the series one- tree- hill like I was, then you’d know of the control freak father_ Dan; who pushed his son so hard in basketball till he overdosed on performance drugs which almost took his life. In his relationship with you, MR. Control freak would push you to reduce your friends and circle of influence till you’re left with just him. That way, he’d ride you more effectively. Another name we could give this guy is MR. Selfish because he’d try to reshape you and you’re life into everything that suits him. Any quality in you that doesn’t conform to his needs will be gotten rid of; any friend you have that opposes or criticizes his character would have to go. Your career would only be allowed if it doesn’t clash with his needs, if it does, then you can bid it goodbye! You’d feel literally like one held in hostage but most times you’d be unable to break free because he has successfully beat you into submission. You’re no longer able to reason as an individual. He has successfully bent you to see yourself through his eyes and judgement. I think I just heard someone say, “even if na juju sef”. But MR. Control freak is very good at what he does. He has effective instruments. He uses verbal abuse to intimidate and threaten you till your complex is dependent on his opinion of you. If his verbal weapon is not yielding 100% result, he’d supplement with physical abuse. I’m definite at this point you’re saying,” who would be nuts enough to go out with this kind of guy?” but trust me, relationships like this are very common. There are tonnes of reasons ladies fall for this kind of guy. Initially, you might view his control nature as protectiveness. This would flatter you and make you feel loved. But only for a short time… Another important reason is that some of us want to be controlled! Let’s face it! Perhaps due to the equally controlling home you emerged from, you’re unconsciously looking for a man with his take charge attitude that will define and dominate your life. Believe me, when the torment and torture begins, you’d realise his blessing is also his curse.
One thing that is synonymous with our first two MR. Wrongs is that they are relatively easy to spot from a safe distance. You need not have gone deep in the relationship before you identify their sinister qualities. This brings us to our third MR. Wrong; presenting, MR. Wonderful..

(To be continued...)

Men 101: The Villains and the Hero (part1)

                         Men 101: the villains and the hero part1

Lately, I’ve been preoccupied with a couple of extremely interesting books (‘Avoiding Mr. Wrong’ by Stephen Arterburn and ‘Ending the search for Mr. Right’ by Michelle Hammond McKinney), and I realised how incredibly selfish I would be if I don’t share the priceless information with my girlfriends.
  Okay, hang on ladies… this is the moment you’ve been waiting for… the moment that will ensure you don’t have to waste your time with any MR. Wrong. We’re going to unravel and burst open those guys that you definitely don’t want to end up with but unsure how to spot them. This will save you from that feeling we know so well, you know having your heart ripped apart and shattered into a thousand irreparable pieces. That’s not all… we’d also be empowering your sixth sense to know your MR. Best when he comes. These MR. Wrongs can be categorized into four main classes.
First there’s MR. Distant. This is the guy that is much more attracted to his job, television and even his male buddies than he’d ever be attracted to you. Every other thing seems to deserve more of his time and attention than you. Achieving and being on top are his top priorities. Now you might see this man as not that bad. But you need to realise that been as everything is a competition to him, he’d use you to get to where he wants to be; then, when he’s gotten there… (I’m sure you can fill the rest in). He can’t connect to you emotionally, psychologically, intellectually or otherwise. He doesn’t just have those skills. He wants a damsel he could show off with; who has also achieved something substantial that he needs at the particular phase of life he’s in, then when he moves past that social rung, he finds someone else that suits the level he is in presently. I’m sure you’re probably saying somewhat confidently, “I can never fall for this kind of guy!!” Is that a fact? He has a lot of qualities which endears ladies to him and traps them in his hold. Initially you’d find his distant interest in you very appealing because every lady likes a confident guy that is not desperate and at the same time is showing interest. You’d also feel secure about his dedication to his job because it invariably means he could provide for you and the family you could have in the future. Sincerely, girlfriends, this is his most powerful weapon! Many ladies will take just about anything from a guy that has a good earning source. Trust me, all these initial lure and charm is as shallow as the foam sitting in a glass of malt. When the real substance in him emerges, none of these will mean anything to you.
  You think this our first MR. is horrible? Then think again! Introducing our second MR. Wrong: MR. Control freak.

(To be continued...)

MZ Goldie's Fiction: He is a Boy (continuation Part3)

The millisecond Jeffrey set his eyes on Cynthia, a switch went off in his mental circuit. He fixed his gaze so intently at her as though he'd return from the trance if he blinked. This can't be real. Human beings like this don't exist, he thought to himself. Or maybe she's not human he thought. Maybe she's an angel. My angel. With that last thought, the dauntless, will-do-anything-to-get-what-i-want-jeffrey came back to life.

Cynthia was a stunning girl with a white-chocolate complexion and a touch of princess. To say she was beautiful was a gross understatement, even somewhat condescending. Cynthia’s face was obviously tenderly and painstakingly sculpted by a supreme being. Her caramel brown eyes and tarnished red lips highlighted her rich skin tone. Her petite nose sat gracefully between her high cheekbones and she wore her deep brunette Russian human hair long and dead straight over her breasts. Cynthia was sporting a white lycra fitted gown that revealed adequate portion of her continuous long legs with tassels hanging down either sides of her waist to further accentuate her waistline. Her neatly manicured nails were painted noir. She was definitely not thin, just elegantly proportional. Cynthia's body was one of those one flips through magazines in search of but rarely finds. She was almost ethereal. She was aware people stared at her. Always. That knowledge went a long way to mould her into who she became. She moved and related as though she wasn't at liberty to live and breath like mere mortals. Everything about her gestures were calculated and scripted.

She noticed the way Jeffrey gazed at her fixedly. Granted everyone stares at her. But his gape… it came from beyond his eyes, it stemmed from his soul. It made her feel it was more than her physical appearance. So she smiled. And with that smile the cupid arrow met target.

Jeffrey was in the company of his all-villain squad at a Lagos society wedding that day he met Cynthia. Two of his friends Tunde young-money and Uche Caesar doubled as PAs and hitmen for the CEO of Marine Access Oils. Naturally they were to attend the wedding and guard their boss from a safe distance, thus they invited their close friends including Jeffrey to accompany them. Jeffrey had attended many of these society events with his friends and thoroughly enjoyed the food and the music. Today however, he barely ingested the food, he could have been chewing paper for all he knew. And the only music that played in his head was the sound of Cynthia's laughter as she chatted with her friends.

Several hours had gone by in the party and several eye contacts and smiles had been exchanged between Cynthia and Jeffrey, so he beckoned on her to come over to their table. Queenlike Cynthia would not normally consent but that day was different. Maybe it was his air of confidence or the fact that he looked like a handsome rich boy with an interesting dark side, she wasn't sure which. Whatever it was certainly worked like charm, because she saw herself stand from her table and walked over to his.

 Upon her arrival at Jeffrey's table, his friends exchanged glances amongst themselves that revealed they were beyond amazed Jeffrey was making advances towards a girl, a gorgeous elite girl at that. However they had strict unspoken brotherhood codes that implied they never belittled each other in public, thus they acknowledged Cynthia courteously and carried on as if this wasn't a cold day in hell occurrence.

Jeffrey and Cynthia chatted smiled and laughed endlessly. With each word she spoke she claimed more and more territories in his heart and engraved her persona in areas no one had ever gained access. She willingly and honestly divulged information about her life, experiences and background. Jeffrey discovered they were from two contrasting worlds; parallel worlds that were drawn never to meet. This would have been his cue to back down but he wasn't blessed with cowardice and the fact that her spell had eaten deep into his heart didn't help matters. Eventually Uche Caesar's usual signal that meant the exit of ‘The Boss’ invaded his  dreamland. He sadly exchanged contacts with Cynthia and left with his friends.

He had barely sat down in Tunde young money’s sleek, spotless Range Rover Envogue  before all his friends began barking at once. “E be like say they don they do you abi”; “You know who be that girl papa”; “you wan begin something u no go ask question”; “10 yars salary for dat your work no reach”. Jeffrey tuned out their words and zoned off to his dreamland where only Cynthia and him existed. He replayed her beauteous smile, her soft words and her contagious laughter.  They can never understand he thought to himself so why should I bother to explain?

Their love affair caught on faster than an Australian bushfire. It kicked off into full gear as soon as it started. Perhaps because it was felt on both sides. Jeffrey eagerly spent all his livelihood on recharge cards to make calls and chat on whatsApp. He had very little time for anything and anyone asides from Cynthia. Every minute that he wasn't conversing with Cynthia seemed like precious time wasted meanwhile while speaking with  her hours flew past as seconds. Everything about their love story seemed perfect to Jeffrey. Everything but the lies.

Their love was built on a wobbly foundation of lies. Jeffrey lied about everything, from what he did to who he was. The only truth she knew was perhaps his name. The lies flowed so easily and sincerely that Jeffrey began believing them. Probably because the lies were neither too creative nor farfetched; he only had to narrate the life of his friends. It was a life he knew in as much details as he knew his. A life he had an insider view of. Thus the lies flowed effortlessly and naturally. Every figment fitted so neatly that it almost seemed like the truth. Almost.

To Cynthia, Jeffrey was everything she had imagined he would be. He was calm, cold and spoke only when extremely mandatory. knowing she was the only one capable of eliciting emotions from him had a mesmerising way of putting her at ease in her own skin. He was a ‘boy’ to the minister of petroleum, the person that took care of  special unspoken tasks that others feared to do. He was highly rewarded and regarded for the dangerous and discreet assignments he undertook and so possessed variety of luxurious vehicles, houses in the highbrow areas of Lagos and rare ammunitions. Being the daughter of a military General, she wasn't particularly afraid of people that performed the sort of tasks Jeffrey performed. In fact she was intrigued by them and considered them heroes of some sorts. She never let her phone out of her sight, for fear she might miss his call or leave his whatsApp messages unread. The only thing that she found confusing was his evident lack of interest in physically meeting her after they met for the first time at the Senate President’s daughter’s wedding. She was perplexed because she was sure he had nothing to hide, she already knew all there was to know about him.  The passion that oozed from his voice and messages didn't tally with the flippant excuses he gave for turning down countless date opportunities with her. It was already 3 months and 11 days since they met and she was getting anxious. Had it not been ingrained in her psych early enough and reiterated daily that she was more beautiful than goddesses, she would had felt she wasn't pretty enough for Jeffrey. His ability to restrain his emotion as intense as it was initially added to the mystery and excitement about him. But that excitement was soon replaced by acute impatience. She wanted to meet Jeffrey and relive that dreamy experience at the event. Consequently she decided to stop picking his calls and replying his messages till he accepts to meet her, even if it will kill her. ‘Desperate situations call for desperate measures’ she monologued.

     Jeffrey's moods were becoming puzzling to everyone including himself. He had been  given a query at work for beating up a subordinate for no substantial reason. He supposed it had something to do with the pressures Cynthia was mounting to meet her. Of course everything in him wanted to. But how could he? Knowing he would lose her when she found out who he was and even worse who he wasn't . He realised he had burrowed into a webbed hole that only sunk deeper and deeper. The other night when he told her he loved her, he was met with silence that spoke volumes- doubt, unbelief, fed up... The thought of possibly losing her made him feel like hurting someone to ease the excruciating pain he felt inside. He had never been one to explain his actions so it was understandable he was running out of excuses to keep her calm. Jeffrey sat up from his bed and picked his phone to call Cynthia, he was going to tell her he understood she was beginning to doubt his love but she had no reason to. ”The number you dialled is not responding” the female robotic voice told him for the umpteenth time. Frantically Jeffrey kept redialing. “Cynthia always picks my call“ he murmured. He desperately tried to picture any circumstance that could prevent her from picking his call, instead he only recalled really odd scenarios where Cynthia still picked his call. He remembered when she went scuba diving with the Kwara state Governor's daughter; when she accompanied her Dad to welcome the President from his trip to India and even when her mom was receiving chemotherapy treatment for her breast cancer. ‘This can only mean one thing’ fretted Jeffrey. He slammed his phone hard on his bed and despondently  ran his fingers through his clean shaven head as he paced his poorly lighted room. Jeffrey felt as though his worst nightmares were creeping into reality.

(To be continued... (Very very soon))